Strand of the message, piece of the story

why this?
I feel like a completely wrong ..
This is wrong, it's wrong.
Sometimes a headache should undergo all the problems ..

I've got what?
I feel like a mess.
Everything feels wrong for what I did!

Is this a result of the different classes in one school?
It was not meant to suppress the liver alone with his best friend, right!
But this is not the point.
They both think I and seven other friends ignored them and assumed they were not there, but not the point!
Really.
Is not it never hurts to join whenever they are talking together?
I know, maybe their hearts are sensitive and tired to get this treatment without realizing we are all to do.

One of my friends who have had one class with me this says that we have all been good friends, and very close.
It is unfortunate if there should be events like this ..
Misunderstanding, and less understood.

Nothing to get rid of you! my dear ..
try to get started first, without having always wanted to ask to begin.
We have long known it?
I understand that it is sometimes tired to separate like that, but calm down, all of us here will never forget you.

I sometimes do not understand the way your mind ..
But clearly we are all here for you, my friend at the next class ..
Hanging around my neck, if we all do not love you.
We all consider you a close friend!

Sometimes I do not understand the way your mind, really.
Sorry if I said something like this.
But I also have experienced the same thing.
And I tried to start changing.
Because not all be the same with your mind, before you begin to understand and know each other.

You're really lucky to still be together, still remember when my fate?
I was alone and not some company.
It was more painful, than you who can still bench.
As for me first?
I was alone, not knowing with whom to share stories.
Whereas once you still have the other.
Can understand how I feel?
Can you?
Maybe that was my fault so that maybe I had done without me knowing it, I'm alone when I just started a new life in jakarta.

I do not want to compare my situation with the situation both of you.
But I hope you can take the positives and negatives, come to think in a mature and more open.

You both will feel even more alienated if I become the first, and it really made me miserable couples, more than what you both feel.

You guys are still grateful to this situation, whereas I used to be? really stressed.

Alone was more painful and more to feel alienated, rather than both ..

There is no need to think anything with this state, to further Think ahead and look back occasionally

Sorry, dit kwaad

Sometimes, I'm tired to understand her attitude .. She was like a young woman, who I think does not deserve her age ..
Not that I want to judge, but sometimes I get bored.
See now, we live in jakarta! Not everything must be cheap and versatile as ever on sale ..

I understand about the problem had been married at a young age, thus resulting in the woman behave like that.

She was wearing nice clothes, always changing because he has money.
As for me? women always say expensive, expensive, and expensive.
I also need style!
Try this I had money, I do not need to beg for her.

Maybe I was rebellious, I'm sorry if that's true.
But it was and sometimes I'm tired.
Shoes, she was always a branded. As for me? She always said this many shoes.
Lord, take a look my shoes? Battered and shapeless!
I also want to like her style, please look at me!
I live among a fairly difficult interaction, if you do not have money, so what I want?
I'd talked about.

Electronic goods too.
She was happy to have the goods that she wanted.
As for me?
I have to save money, and helped my boyfriend especially.

God!
When I have money? Momentum, so I spend as I please, without having to be chatter from the woman.
I want to be stylish with my own style, indeed!
Ah sorry I was too tattle.
But really I'm tired of all these faces.

Jakarta's hard is not it? Hard!
What will happen if you do not have money and style?
What?
Drawn into the hole of sadness.
Dead-style, indeed.

She travels freely through the night.
As for me?
Chatter ..
Maybe my age who can not practically take care of myself. but I also want to be free.
Although only briefly, perhaps.

I confused who should be devoting this same, really.
I just wanted to share the story of what I experienced that I felt very, very upset.
I'm no one else can wait. I'm not a person who can bring themselves among the great terrifying life.

See that woman? if I had money, so I'll buy whatever I want as I please!

Anyway, I'm sure the treasure is not going anywhere.
Sorry was too emotional, but really I'm tired.

However tired I am, still I love that woman.

Totul despre tine

Hello dear, I love to you .. You left me scared me. you know? you like the most beautiful gift for me. I do not care about the lack of you, I do not care about you no matter how ignorant of me. but I want you to know, I want a fundamental change from you. I want you to change your attitude. I'm so scared for the umpteenth time a broken heart, because it was all very painful for me. I want you to fight for me, as I stand before you as you wanted me. those times when you want to get me very beautiful, because there also, I fight for my heart to get you.

see myself, I always cry when away from you.
You know why? because I was too dear to you.
I'm afraid you leave me, I'm afraid you betrayed me.

sometimes I'm scared to see you around with another woman, even though I know it probably will not happen.
But whether you will know how I feel if that happened?
I'll kill you! Where I'm going to kill you as you hurt me.

Hahahaha.
Looks like I started writing it in the wrong direction.
I was dizzy, weak.
Limp because of your love:)
Hahaha

To be honest, I do not like it when you call ex.
Too painful for me! I hate ex! hate!
I wish she'd never know you, because that's what makes me very jealous actually.

I do not care what people saying.
I only care about our relationship!

"Ik hou van je verre van wat je weet, lieve"

You see how fragile I am without you?
Yes that's me! I really frail without you.

Honey, maybe I'm selfish, can not be what you want.
Maybe I was too arbitrary, but I want you to know that I really love you!
That's all probably because my attitude is childish.
But I want to try it all for you.

I know, maybe I was rude, less able to understand or the like.
But for all that I want to change it despite slightly for your sake.
I want to walk away with you, I do not want to lose you!
We had promised to be together until death do us part, and I actually remember it.

I do not want anything happening until we can not survive.
God is always there beside us, and I'm sure God will guide us.

I do not know since when I was a crybaby because of you.
Hahaha
But that's a funny thing that ever happened to me, because I always cry for you.

I love you, and it's really how I feel.
I'm too scared to imagine if you will leave me, Hell for me.

"Geen kwestie hoe mensen praten over onze relatie, alleen jij was de beste voor mij"

Something hurts my life

Semuanya yang nggabisa kusebutin satu-satu..
Aku kangen sama kalian semua!!!
Yang udah memberi aku warna dalam hidup..
Dan itu bener-bener bikin kangen :(

Boleh jujur? Keadaan memaksaku untuk mengikutinya..
Dan aku capek buat ngikutin..
Kadang emang aku nyesel sama apa yang aku hadapin sekarang..
Tapi aku nggaboleh ngomong gitu, masih ada temen-temen dan tentunya pacar aku yang nyemangatin aku :)

Kadang aku bingung, salah ya aku kaya gini?
Nggaboleh ya?
Maaf deh kalo aku belom bisa kaya kalian semua..
Aku memang butuh adaptasi, dan itu ngga cepet waktunya..
Salah ya? Hmm.. Aku nggataudeh..
Aku emang nggapunya temen buat berbagi cerita..

Itu yang ngebuat aku makin pengen pulang ke semarang..
Suasana itu, pengalaman itu, semuanya bikin aku kangen..
Ngga ada yang bisa nggantiin itu semua..

Aduh. Air mata jatuh lagi deh..
Hahaha..
Nggapapadeh, yang penting lega..

Alwin, indri, tyas, mebi, aya, ausi, nicky, pichan, marsha, dita, alip, lanti, sarah, osa,faisal, erik, avian, dea, nia, ulfi, devita, semuanya deh alazhar angkatan 4 yang bener-bener nggabisa aku sebutin satu-satu..
Sama alumni isriati..
Semuanya aku kangen kalian!!!
Andai aku dulu nggapindah ya?
Tapi kalo nggapindah ngga ketemu haris
-___-
Haha
Ngga ketemu mesya, suci, talitha, runi, dinia, icha, chaiyna, vicky, shika, alyssa nadira, chacha, lea. Semuanya deh yang bisa bikin aku senyum lagi..

Kadang emang aku nyesel.. Tapi apa iya harus nyesel terus?
Kadang emang aku ngga ngerasa cocok sama lingkungan, tapi aku nyoba buat adaptasi kok..
Masih banyak yang sayang aku :)

Dengar ya semuanya, temen-temenku.
Haris juga deh..
Aku sayang kalian semua, beneran..
Jangan pernah lupain aku ya..
Buat temen di semarang ;) kalian nggapernah aku lupain!!!
Walopun udah mulai pada sombong2 nih
-________-
Hahaha..

Crying

Jumat kelabu..
Kenapa ya esti selalu nangis di hari jumat?
Hmm ngga juga sih. Dulu iya pernah nangis.
Dan nangisnya juga gara-gara haris.
udah deh esti blak-blakan aja ya.
Lagi males buat mensensor.
Karena esti juga lagi butuh temen buat ngobrol, yang bisa ngerti esti..

Esti nggatau kenapa.
Apa mungkin esti terlalu sensitif ya?
Sensitif sama sikapnya haris..
Tapi esti ngerasa gitu..
Ngerasa kalo haris begitu sama esti..

Kadang-kadang esti capek loh sama sikapnya haris yang begitu-gitu aja.
Ya mungkin esti juga ngerti, pasti haris bosen juga sama sikapnya esti yang kaya bocah.
Hmm..
Esti takut, haris bosen sama esti :(
Tapi apa haris mikir ngga ya?
Apa haris juga mikirin esti?
Kayaknya haris ngga pernah mikirin esti..
:'( (negatif nih pikirannya)

Esti nggatau harus cerita sama siapa.
Akhirnya ujung-ujungnya esti cerita juga sama alwin..
(Alwin itu cewe, sahabat esti dari SD. Walopun skg dia di semarang, tapi kita masih berhubungan sangat baik. Walopun kadang berantem juga)
Tau ngga?
Alwin bilang gini : "blm tntu org yg gk cuek it bsa baik ma care k pcarny."
Aaaah. Esti jadi ngerasa bersalah juga sama haris..
Dan yang lebih bikin esti ngerasa bersalah, ternyata alwin baru putus :(
Esti cerita gitu aja sama dia, padahal dia lagi sedih.
Alwin sayang maafin aku yaaa :( huhu tegar ya :') aku yakin kamu pasti kuat kok.
Cowo masih ada banyak, coba buat move on. Aku yakin kamu bisa..
Buat haris, aku sayang kamu. Walopun kamu ngeselinnya minta ampun..

Between Lion and MHS

Am I like childish?
Am I like over protective?

That's why I love You
That's why I can't if you're so far away from me

Aku tau, aku ini siapa
Aku tau, aku ini bagaimana
Aku tau, aku ini kenapa

Semua jawaban itu akan terhubung pada suatu kalimat "I Love You"
Cinta memang membutakan semuanya
Pikiran tertutup
Dan hati akan terus mengalir untuknya
Cinta ini bagaikan air terjun yang akan berpulang pada satu titik
Yaitu kebahagiaan

Kenyataan pahit
Itulah mengapa akan melahirkan sebuah statement untuk bergerak
Dan muncullah kata "Move On"
Jika aku bukan aku yang sekarang, mungkin levelku dimata tuhan akan tetap segitu karena tidak adanya cobaan

Aku ngga peduli apa kata orang dengan hubungan kita
Aku ngga peduli dan ngga mau tau apa kata orang
Hubungan kita, cuma aku dan kamu yang tau
Dan tidak ada orang lain yang bisa ikut campur
Persetan apa gunjingan orang awam
Aku hanya kamu yang tau, dan kamu hanya aku yang tahu
Termasuk Tuhan

Entah kenapa aku merasa manusia yang teramat beruntung mendapatkanmu
Maaf kalau aku masih terlihat mengibaratkanmu sebagai singa
Yang harus dikurung, diikat, dan dikasih makanan sesuka hati pawangnya
Mungkin semuanya menganggap kamu begitu dalam dekapanku
Tapi aku ingin kamu tau, aku nggamau kamu jadi singa liar yang nantinya bisa mengkhianati hati sang pawang
Sakit jika itu terjadi :(

Aku percaya kamu bisa menjadi singa yang baik
Singa yang membanggakan sang pawang
Singa yang jinak
Singa yang selalu senyum
Dan tentunya
Singa yang begitu teramat berharga di hati aku

Aku cuma ingin kamu tau, that's why I Love You so much
Nothing people can be like you
Because
You're the one, Haris..

The Rain Day on My Eyes

Tolong woy..
Help woy..
Bantuin woy..

Huhu parah bgt nih gue.
Begini ya kalo misal gue udh sayang bgt ama cowo -_-
Posesif, egois, apalagi ya yang muncul semua..

ONCE AGAIN

Gue mengulangi kesalahan yang benar-benar really really SILLY
Biasalah egoi gueeee huhuh

Ntah kenapa ya akhir-akhir ini gue lagi merasakan sindrom falling in love yang benar-benar big..
Ntah kenapa ya gue lagi nggamau jauh
Ntah kenapa ya gue maunya stay closer with him.

Entah kenyataan yang nggabisa gue terima atau emang takdir yang gue usahain buat ditepis kebenarannya.
Gue nggamau harus jadi gue yang begini..
Masya allah..

Jujur ya gue lagi mengalami kerinduan yang amat sangat.
Rasa ingin diperhatikan yang amat berlebihan, sungguh.
Rasa apalagi ya? Kalau ditulis semua ngga akan ada ujung (pangkalnya) deh..
Intinya gue akhir-akhir ini sering ditinggal sama dia.

Masalah klasik, karena dia sibuk jadi ketu apaya gitu gue nggamau nyebutin..
Dan ya saking sibuknya beneran gue dicuekin T.T
Sering ditinggal.. Huhuh yang ngebuat sikap egois gue keluar..
Yang ngebuat pengen diperhatiin terus sama dia..

Karena lagi pengen dimanjain, gue terus-terusan minta ditelpon..
Yang hari pertama ada masalah tuh (tau kan tulisan sebelum ini)..
Eh malem ini ada masalah juga.. Huhuh..
Jujur ya gue ngerasa bersalah. Beneran deh :(
Mungkin karena pikiran gue juga yang terlalu pengen diperhatiin terus sama dia..

Dia itu ngantuk, tapi karena gue tahan-tahan akhirnya dia main internet..
Dia nggaboleh main internet malem-malem..
Tapi dia main gitu biar ngga ngantuk waktu telponan :(
Gue emang ngga ngebolehin dia tidur, karena jujur ya gue masih rindu setengah mati sama dia..
Rindu sekali, wah lo nggabisa ngerasain deh (songong)..

Eh akhirnya ketauan deh dia main internet malem-malem..
Terus ya gue masih ngerasa bersalah :( tapi gue nggamau udahan..
Dia minta udahan gara-gara dia takut dimarahin (dia mau sok tidur intinya)..
Tapi gue ngga ngebolehin..
Karena kangen gue masih belum terpuaskan dan terluapkan..

Tiba-tiba gue ngomong : 'kenapa ya perasaanku ngga enak?'
Eh bener, nggataunya dia mau dimarahin..
Tiba-tiba telponnya mati..
Nggalama setelahnya dia sms kalo akhirnya dia dimarahin juga :(

Ya allah.. Gimana ini..
Mau marah sama diri sendiri, mana mungkin..
Mau ngomel-ngomelin dia, woh kaga tau diri bener gue..
Mau tidur, kaga bisa :(
Because I miss him so much, still thingking about him, and still feeling so sorry :(

Jujur ya gue takut..
Dengan kejadian dua hari ini ngebikin dia ngga sayang lagi sama gue..
Takut dia ngga simpati lagi sama gue :(
Takut dia illfeel sama gue :'(

----------------------------

Maafin aku ya sayang :(
Mungkin aku emang belum bisa jadi yang kamu inginin
Mungkin aku emang belum bisa ngertiin kamu sepenuhnya
Tapi aku lagi mencoba

Jujur aku bener-bener nggabisa jauh dari kamu
Tapi aku tau, memang ada saatnya :(
Aku tau memang tidak seterusnya
Aku cuma ingin memberitahumu, aku rindu kamu

Mungkin aku kelewatan
Mungkin aku posesif
Mungkin aku kurang dewasa
Tapi aku mencoba untukmu
Untuk hubungan kita

Karena aku takut terlampau jauh
Kau bosan terhadapku
Kau mulai mencampakkanku
Dan kau akan meninggalkan aku pada kenyataannya ;(

Jujur sayang aku ngga sanggup
Jangan pernah jauh dariku
Jangan pernah tinggalin aku
Aku ngga sanggup

Kamu tau penyebab itu semua?
Hanya satu kalimat jawabannya

"Karena aku terlampau mencintai dan menyayangimu."